Mailman's Worst Enemy

0 comments Posted by Blythe at 11:55 AM

So, this holiday season I felt very productive because I completed almost all of my Christmas shopping, not only online, but EARLY! It was stress-free... you know, surf the web, add to basket, checkout, and receive goods a couple days later...piece of cake. For most people.

Not for this girl. 
Allow me to give you a wonderful back story of why the mail system hates the Matthews family. (keep in mind, I'm not allowed to speak of this at either the Wallace or Matthews households because the men of the house get IRATE with me- and it only keeps getting better as the weeks go on)  
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Before moving to El Paso, I owned a home in Jackson. When that house sold, I moved to my parents home for the summer. Naturally, I did an address change from the Jackson house to my parent's house. Keep in mind, I had to do this a million times before I figured out you could do "family" that way any name that mail comes to you will be forwarded as long as it is the same last name. (I go by my middle name, so I get mail to Elizabeth, Blythe, E Blythe, E B matthews.... ridiculous)

So now, all my mail was coming to my parent's house. After moving to El Paso, I did another address change from their house to El Paso. So, I am going about my business one afternoon, and I check the mail, and I had a CitiMortgage bill to "Brett Matthews", an AT&T bill to "Terri Matthews", and just a bunch of crap. At first I thought, "hmmmmm.... that's weird. Why am I getting their mail?" And then I turned white as a ghost....SHIT.

When doing the mail forwarding process from their house to El Paso, I did FAMILY, without thinking. 

Now, my parents get an ungodly amount of mail e v e r y d a y. My mom said they hadn't gotten any mail in about a week, and my dad had already been running after the mailman trying to figure out what was up. I'll tell you what was up... it was being forwarded to MEXICO!

After weeks and weeks of mail trickling in, who knows how  much got lost in the middle, because an abundant amount never showed up here nor there. My dad never would do an address change. So, I said, fine, I'll get online and just do another family address change from El Paso to Jackson, and whatever y'all get of mine, it's most likely not important- you can just open it. 

**At this point, no MATTHEWS mail is allowed to be delivered to El Paso because of forward requests***
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So now back to just a couple of weeks ago, during Christmas shopping, among other things, some wonderful events that have happened:

1-Three gifts I ordered for Christmas were through my PayPal account. This account is still in Blythe Matthews. All information:address, bank account, etc. is updated except the name because you have to go through a process. Well not thinking, I order stuff, and since PayPal makes buying things WAY to easy, one click and I realize my packages are coming to El Paso but to Blythe Matthews. 

2-My mother makes my poor, pitiful, hairless dog a jacket, and is going to ship it to us in El Paso. Not thinking, she addresses it Blythe Matthews...
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Now here's where it just gets ridiculous. 
At this point, I had just accepted that those gifts purchased would just be in Jackson by now. Whatever. So Over it.

Well, I had ordered something else through another account that had Matthews stored in it. I caught it right after the order though, so I thought "I'll do ANOTHER address change but just do 'Blythe Matthews' from Jackson back to El Paso. And maybe I can catch this thing before it gets shipped." I thought I had it all figured out. ( I never have anything figured out)

Smarty pants me, did the address change, and none of the other packages had made it back to Mississippi yet that originally were coming to El Paso. So to save you any more confusion, because frankly I'm the only one that understands the mess. My "stress free" shopping has turned into my gifts going back and forth across the country multiple times. I resorted to taping notes to mailboxes saying, "PLEASE DELIVER ANY PACKAGES WITH THE NAME MATTHEWS!!!!!!" Cayce is sick of hearing about it, and just gets so mad. And it's just getting to the point where it's embarrassing...

The most recent debacle was that I ordered something last minute, and concerned if I used my name as the receiver, it would be lost, so I did my sister's name? WHOKNOWSWHY! I had a freak out that she may have done an address change back when she got married. After getting over that, I track the shipment this morning, and I notice i left the R out of the address. It was going to be coming to "108 overbook" instead of "overbRook"... SHIT

*crossing my fingers for packages*


 

alive

0 comments Posted by Blythe at 4:22 PM

I know you've been worried. I'm alive. The cartels have not scooped me up and whisked me across the border. 

I've been busy Christmas shopping, non-stop schooling, taking care of my animal babies (including my ol case). 

Tomorrow, I'm going home to Mississippi. I cannot tell you how incredibly excited I am for this trip. I have not been home since early September, and I haven't seen my dad or my sister and her sweet family all this time. Needless to say, I'm GIDDY!

I will be home throughout the whole Christmas Holiday. I'm looking forward to spending lots of time with my family, seeing all my friends, eating good food, sucking in all the southernness I can. 

Above all, I cannot wait to see this boy... 


He has grown up so much, since the last time I saw him, it makes me so sad. All I hope for is that he remembers me. He seems to, when we FaceTime, so let's keep our fingers crossed!

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

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